The Trauma of Losing Your Hair During Cancer Treatment: Finding Strength, Humor, and Solutions
Hair. It’s a topic I didn’t expect to be so front-and-center in the cancer journey, but here we are. For so many, losing their hair is one of the most devastating parts of treatment—an outward symbol of everything cancer takes from you. For me, though? It wasn’t that traumatic. Surprising, I know, but I’ve never tied my femininity to my hair. My breasts? That’s a story for another day. But my hair? I had shaved my head years before my diagnosis just for the fun of it. I loved the freedom of rolling out of bed and being ready to go in five seconds.
When my oncologist warned me about the inevitable hair loss from chemo, I didn’t flinch. In fact, I turned the moment into something powerful. My daughters, my close friend, and I had a head-shaving party. We laughed, cried (a little), and even made a fun video to commemorate it. I felt in control in a situation where control is usually nowhere to be found. And let me tell you, having permanent makeup on my brows, eyeliner, and lips? A game-changer. I never looked like death was around the corner, and I’m endlessly grateful for that. But I know that my experience is far from universal.
Hair Loss: A Unique Grief
For many women, losing their hair is a deeply emotional experience. Hair often feels like an integral part of our identity. It’s tied to femininity, beauty, and sometimes even confidence. The sight of hair falling out in clumps, the first glance in the mirror after shaving, or the realization that wigs aren’t as comfortable as they look—each moment can feel like a fresh wound.
This grief is real, valid, and important to acknowledge. In fact, studies show that 47% of women report hair loss as the most distressing side effect of chemotherapy and that it significantly affects their quality of life.¹
One of the most heartbreaking stories I’ve heard came from my favorite nurse, Heather. Heather, with her bright, funky hairstyles and colorful personality, was the kind of oncology nurse you instantly love. She told me about a 26-year-old mother of two who refused her first infusion. The reason? Her “husband” (and I use that term loosely) told her he’d leave her if she lost her hair.
When Heather shared this, I couldn’t pick my jaw up off the floor. The audacity. The shallowness. The tragedy of a man valuing hair over his wife’s life. Heather, being the incredible human she is, shaved her own head in solidarity and helped the woman feel just brave enough to move forward with treatment. That brave act gave the woman one more precious year with her children.
Oncology nurses, man. They’re angels in scrubs.
The Science Behind Chemo-Related Hair Loss
Chemotherapy targets rapidly dividing cells. While this is effective against cancer cells, it also attacks other fast-growing cells, like those in your hair follicles. This is why hair often falls out quickly and doesn’t start growing back until after treatment ends. Some drugs, like taxanes and anthracyclines (hello, Doxorubicin), are more notorious for causing hair loss than others.
It’s not just scalp hair, either. Eyebrows, lashes, and body hair often go, too, leaving survivors feeling even more exposed and vulnerable.
Solutions for Coping With Hair Loss
If you’re struggling with the idea or reality of losing your hair, here are some ways to navigate it:
Take Control of the Process: Shaving your head before hair loss starts can give you a sense of empowerment. It’s a way to claim the narrative instead of letting cancer take it from you.
Explore Wigs, Scarves, and Hats: Whether you want to rock a wig that feels like “you” or get creative with bold scarves, there are endless options to express yourself. Find something that feels empowering.
Consider Scalp Cooling Caps: Some patients have found success with cooling caps, which help reduce hair loss during treatment by constricting blood flow to the scalp. (Note: These don’t work for all chemo types.)
Permanent Makeup: If you’ve never considered it, tattooed brows, eyeliner, and lips can be a game-changer for looking and feeling more like yourself.
Lean Into Community: Connect with other survivors who’ve been through it. Sharing your experiences and tips can be incredibly validating and helpful.
Focus on Regrowth: Hair typically starts growing back 1-3 months after treatment ends. It may come back in a different texture or color (hello, chemo curls!), but it’s part of the healing journey.
Why It’s Important to Address This
Hair loss isn’t just about vanity. It’s about identity, confidence, and feeling like yourself in a time when everything is changing. Ignoring these emotions or brushing them aside can leave survivors feeling isolated and unseen.
The emotional toll of hair loss underscores the need for holistic approaches to survivorship care. When I created Maevora Wellness Collective and our Rebirth & Radiance: Life After Cancer program, I wanted to address these “unspoken” struggles—the ones that don’t make it into the pamphlets at your oncologist’s office but weigh heavily on survivors nonetheless.
Our program provides tools and support for navigating these challenges, from mindfulness practices that build confidence to resources for rebuilding your relationship with your body.
A Final Note
Losing your hair during cancer treatment isn’t just a physical change—it’s a deeply personal journey. It’s okay to grieve it. It’s okay to be angry. And it’s okay to feel like your identity is shifting.
But remember this: Your hair doesn’t define you. Your strength, your resilience, and your spirit do. Whether you’re rocking a wig, a scarf, or a bare scalp, you are beautiful and powerful. And when the day comes that your hair begins to grow back, you’ll look in the mirror and see not just regrowth but rebirth.
With love and light,
Shana
¹ Source: Cancer Research UK, "Coping with Hair Loss."
